Category Archives: Companionship

Companionship, Friends, Love, Peace

MOURNING THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

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MOURNING THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONEundefined

So you see my brother that life is so short, it passes so quickly and soon its gone. You just have one life to live on earth so remember your creator while you have breath. –Bernice Offei (Ghanaian gospel musician)

Life is fleeting: Like the wind, one moment its here, the next its gone. Like a flower that buds and blooms, it dries up and dies. The demise of a loved one always serves as a reminder of how fleeting our life is.

In a couple of weeks, it will be exactly 3 years since I lost a very close friend. He was the yang to my yin, the crazy to my often too serious self. The one thought that kept coming to me during that time was that he was forever going to be out of reach. No matter how much time passed, I would never be able to pick up the phone and text him to pick up from where we left off. He was gone forever. It did hurt and I buried myself in work so I did not have to spend to much alone time. I worried I would forget him as time went by. Truth was, I never wanted to forget him.

I am reminded today of how I felt when he passed away because I confront the death of someone I only knew from afar but admired. I can’t help but think of the friends who have to come to terms with his departure. Families have each other. They will stay together. They will support and comfort each other. All prayers and well wishes will go to them.

What about the friends left broken? How do they deal with the pain? They shared close ties with the loved one, ties that weren’t created by blood, but by life choices. All too often, the friends left behind need to find solace in each other. Every other and majority of the support goes to the immediate family and we forget about the friends who had close ties with the departed. A deep connection existed between these people, that wasn’t borne out of a necessity because they had no choice, but because they were formed over time.

Navigating that terrain isn’t easy. But like everything else, time heals the pain. The loss of my friend hurts less now. I do miss him, but the friends he left behind, we keep each other strong.

To the friends out there mourning the loss of a friend, keep each other strong. The bond you shared with the departed will keep you together as you chart this new course. Living without the departed will become the new normal. To us all, let’s be supportive of each other, loving one another and being grateful for everyone in our life. After all, we are on this life journey together.

This world is not my home I’m just a passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore. -Jim Reeves

Ben-Isaac Nyameche, you are sown but never lost. Damirifa due. Due ne amanehunu……………..

Companionship, Depression

“Do you expect help, when you do not help others?”

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What would you consider as helpful enough though? Lending a hand to someone who requires assistance in whatever form it may be, pointing someone in the right direction if they are lost, or simply being present for someone in need of comfort? No matter which form of help you offer, no form of help is insignificant.

And this brings me to the last but definitely not the end of the blog series on supporting someone battling depression. Just to recount what I shared in the last couple of weeks; Inform yourself about depression so you are better equipped to identify it when it rears its head, secondly we spoke of availing yourself to assist someone going through depression when the need be. After you have done all the above, but you still do not feel confident enough to assist the person, you could recommend the person to a trustee. Even after that do not leave them alone, offer to accompany them when they talk to this person. They may need a familiar presence to assure them they are not alone in this.

Never turn down an opportunity to help someone. You never know how far it may go to relieve the person of a problem and you also do not know when you will need theirs. Life becomes much easier when we work together and have people to count on. Be that shoulder, be that hand. Be the help someone needs.

Be that someone somebody talks to.

Companionship, Depression, Love

I know I can count on you in good times, what about bad times ??????

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We are social beings and we thrive on interactions and connection with others, be it family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances. We cherish moments with others and as such wherever we find ourselves, we strive to establish connections with others, either momentarily or long-term. We love it when we have people to share experiences and make memories with.

But how do we feel, when our desires to love and be loved, to accept and to be accepted are not fulfilled? And what about when a connection we had with someone is severed, such that it no longer is what it used to be? How about when you are going through a difficulty and there is no one you could count on, especially if you would have wanted someone in your close circle? It hurts to be disappointed, but it hurts more when your friends are not reliable enough to help you out of a difficulty.

It is easy to look to others for solace and comfort, but maybe, it is about time we ask ourselves if we are ever at any point in time, able to offer comfort to someone going through a difficulty, or better still someone battling depression (since it is the focus of this blog). It is very easy to lose your cool with a depressed person, the feeling that they are being insensitive and would want your undivided attention and care. It is not easy to live with a depressed person. They have special needs and they can only pull through and out of their condition with the right assistance.

In last week’s episode, I mentioned how you could help a depressed person (Click this link if you missed last week’s post Help me, but inform yourself first of my condition). And now that you know how to identify warning signs of depression, the next big thing you could do is to Talk with the person you are concerned about.

But then, it is not just about talking, it is about “listening without being judgmental”. This isn’t the time to play the “I think you are right/ wrong card”. Because you know what, knowing does a better job of devaluing themselves than a depressed person. They have already condemned themselves and you wouldn’t want to compound that feeling. Remember, it is not about you and it will never be about you. It is about a friend you are concerned about and want to help. Besides, you wouldn’t want to give the impression that what they are going through is a fault of theirs.  Instead, what they need from you is love, care and support. You may not be available 24/7 for them, but to a depressed person, it would mean so much more than companionship, to know there is someone looking out for them and someone to count on. After all, we believe recovery is assured when we have a support system and work collectively.

Together, we can heal. Be the help someone needs.